An old dream...

When I was in secondary school, I had a dream.

It was raining that night, so heavily. The wind was so strong that nobody in their right mind would ever want to let themselves be caught in such a terrible storm. I was standing on the roof of a building just beside a street. I was there all by myself, standing on the edge of the roof. The weird thing about this dream was the fact that I felt like I was watching it from a third persona's view, but at the same time, I knew that the man I saw on the roof was also myself. But then again, it was just a dream, anything is possible in a dream.

Back to the story,

I was wearing a robe like one of those robes of which a Jedi would wear, and my face was mostly concealed by some sort of a silver mask. Then I saw myself looking down to the street below, there was a couple facing one another next to the street lamp. I had a feeling that the imaginary me knew who that girl was. She was the lover of my life. But somehow along the way, I learnt that she was not meant for me. My judgement call was totally intuitive, made on no solid evidence whatsoever, except for the fact that deep down in my heart, I knew I had to let her go if I really love her.

So there I was, standing all alone on the roof, overlooking the love of my life embracing another guy. Through the heavy downpour I saw her face lit up. I felt tears running down my eyes, but I ignored them, thinking that that was just the rain. All I could ever think of at that time, is for her to be happy, even if that means I am not part of it. A small part of me wished that it did not have to be this way, unfortunately this was the best for her, besides none could run away from fate.

As I started to walk away, I hope that a small part of her would sometimes remember that she had once knew me. I wish not to be remembered, because I am just a nobody. As my dream started to fade, I heard myself saying this line, a line of which I will forever remember, 'I've done my job. Now, I leave the rest to you. May you find your happiness, always.'

That was how the phrase 'I leave the rest to you' came to be. Though the dream was too much to be true, it did left a deep scar within me, given the hell I was going through back then in school. I woke up without any tears running down my cheeks, but that entire day I could not help but to digest what the whole dream was supposed to mean to me.

I guess maybe that was what my life is supposed to be like; to know when to let go. Everybody seeks happiness their whole life, but only succeeded in the end. Consider life to be some sort of a problem solving exercise involving Maths equation. Sometimes you need to cross out some terms in order to find the solution. You hate to do it, but that is just it is. You would always need someone to take the fall, and better me, than you.


I leave the rest to you.......