My cousin has cancer; of strength and hope. A sign maybe?

I was a bit thrown off last week when my mom told me that my cousin had cancer. What threw me off was the fact that she was diagnosed with a similar cancer that my aunt from my dad's side died off from last year: stage four, neck cancer. Well, I think it may be neck cancer, judging by the looks of it, a growth coming out of their necks. 

Cancer, one of the mysterious diseases to have affected our modern world. What makes them so powerful is the fact that they are silent killers; the causes are mostly vague. But most would point out lifestyle to be one of them, unfortunately given what I have seen, there may not be much truth within such reasoning. In addition to the fact that nobody really understands the reason why cancers affect some more than other, there is no cure for it as well. Ironic don't you think? We claim ourselves as standing on the peak of our civilisation with all these innovative technologies surrounding us, yet we still could not figure out cancer. 

It makes you realise how fragile your life is. 

Even as we roam this earth, given all the advancement in science, coupled with the brilliant minds who are alive in our time, there are still things that we cannot explain. 

And all of this, coming at a time when I am still trying to decide whether to attend my own graduation or not. I for one think that it is not worth it; having to come all the way back here just for the sake of walking up on a stage to receive a scroll with your name on it, and when all of that is over, you'll only return with some photos of yourself. Did I mention how much I hate being in a photo? I do, I just don't like it. It's just not my thing. Or as Clooney said it in the movie Up in The Air, 'Photos are for people who can't remember.' 

But that cancer incident made me rethink the whole thing. Maybe I should attend the ceremony after all. At least for family, if not for me. Well, great. That's one huge sign from Him that perhaps it would be wise for me to go. So now, I just need to take care of the expenses. Yikes, I wonder how are we to afford all of that? 

O Allah, in this hour, grant me strength. Give me the courage I need to get through this, and many more. I prayed for a friend so that I may have an extra pair of ears to listen to me, but I found none. So I pray that this loneliness be not the fall of me. Allow me to bring joy to my family, carve a smile on their faces. Hear me, o Allah.

I leave the rest to You.......